It’s all an illusion — the belief that I was in control of my life for so many years.
It wasn’t until I came to the absolute end of myself, in such a deep hole that I knew there was no way to simply “pull myself up by the bootstraps” this time.
When I started pulling back the layers, I realized that pride and self-sufficiency had often been disguised as independence and hard work for much of my life.
At the end of the day, God just wanted me — my time, my talents, and my treasures.
They were always His anyway. These were all things He had entrusted me with, yet I hadn’t been a very good steward of them. I had good intentions, but I was deeply flawed by blind spots and by trying to do things my own way.
Sometimes when God tells us to go, or prompts us to do something, we take the long way around.
My stubbornness and inability to let go of my own plan had landed me in some deep water.
Oftentimes we don’t obey because we don’t understand why God is asking us to do something. We can’t see the whole picture.
But that is exactly where faith begins.
If we knew how everything was going to work out, it wouldn’t require nearly as much faith. God is working for our good. He has our best interest at heart. He loves us and cares for us far more than we do ourselves, and He asks us to trust Him.
When we truly remember and believe God’s promises — and that He tells the truth — it begins to change how we act and what we do.
The ripple effect from just one act of obedience can be enormous. We don’t always know what the full impact will be, so we simply take the next step in faith.
And sometimes, as I learned the hard way, delayed obedience is actually disobedience — and it can create unnecessary messes along the way.
I finally hit my knees. In tears I said:
“Ok God. My way hasn’t worked. Let’s go with Your plan.”
In many ways, that moment felt like coming back to the well.
When we spend years trying to carry our own strength, wisdom, and plans, eventually we run dry. We discover that the independence we were so proud of cannot actually sustain us.
The well is where we return when our own resources are empty.
It is the place where we stop striving and receive what only God can provide — guidance, grace, and living water for a thirsty soul.
Coming back to the well doesn’t mean life suddenly becomes easy.
But it does mean we are no longer trying to survive in our own strength. God never intended for us to carry these struggles alone, even when we caused them ourselves. He is merciful, and He helps us when we ask.
And that is how this blog began.
So welcome.
I hope you find hope, peace, and purpose here.
If you are in the middle of figuring all of that out, please know that I have been there — for many, many years. I understand the quiet battles people carry, and I hope you feel supported on your journey toward becoming everything God has called you to be.
This blog is a place to explore the quiet storms many people carry inside — the questions, the struggles, and the seasons when life feels heavier than we expected.
Along the way, I hope to share reflections on faith, healing, and the process of learning to trust God more deeply.
If you find yourself in a difficult season, my hope is that these words remind you that you are not alone.
Even in the middle of the storm, there is still a well to return to.
John 7:37–38
“If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink.”
Disclaimer:
This article is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical or mental health advice. It is not a substitute for professional care. Some links may be affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
